I’ve never known happiness like this.

It’s hard to live within a world so cruel that happiness cannot be found and if it is, it is lost easily.

It’s hard to the within a world that is against you and everything you stand for.

This is a hard life we all must live and a harder life our children must live.

All I want is to find happiness and keep it.

All I want is to stand up for what I believe and not have to fight for it.

Friend: “Do you regret it?”

Me: “No.”

Friend: “Why?”

Me: “Because I try not to regret anything I have done. When you live with regrets you live with the pain and memories that regret brings and you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, and I don’t want that.”

So a guy asked me out last night and I said yes.

This morning my ex of over a year came up and asked if we could be friends.

A sign?

I think so.

I have been out of the dating scene for a while though.

Just got to wait and see what happens.

How can I be nothing to him?
How I can be lower to dirt to him?

We dated for a year.
I helped him through everything.

When his dad was a sorry drunk in rehab.
When his mom took it all out of him.
When everything was falling down around him I was there.

He got over me in two days.
After a year it only took two days.

He knows me better than anyone else.
He knows the true me and my secrets.
And I know everything about him.

I swear on God that I will never love again.

All I want is for someone to hold me in their arms and whisper “it’ll be alright”

I have a few fears.

I fear spiders
I fear thunder and lightning.
I fear losing the people I love.
I fear disappointing those people as well.

But I have figured out what my greatest fear is.

My greatest fear is being alone.

I will only stop loving you when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water. Then and only then will I stop loving you. Until then you will forever have my love.